Post by queensgirl on Mar 5, 2006 23:26:27 GMT -5
“Symphony in Knocked Flat” is known and loved for its bizarre spies-and-boxing comedy and as the first episode in which the detectives actually take each other out on ‘real’ dates. The story went through a few transitions from writing to filming, most notable being a remarkably different ending, peppered with less drastically altered but still interesting joke twists along the way. Here is a summary of the most prominent differences.
Stage directions are as indicated (some underlined). My comments will be [like this]. Some material may be slightly altered for clarity. (I'll post in two sections so it's a little bit easier to read.)
Please note: the Russian boxer’s name is spelled, variously, Gabinov and Kabonov in this script. That’s right; they keep changing it for some reason. It’s even shown on screen on the arena marquee as “Illya Gabinov”! I went with ‘Gabinov’ here, just for the sake of consistency. In the actual on-screen credits at the end of the show, I believe he’s listed as Ilya Kabonov. Go figure...
In the first scene at Blue Moon, when Maddie walks into the foyer, David greets her right away, not after the hullabaloo in his own office.
Angle—a desk…the one closest to David’s office, and it’s surrounded by the office staff…and all Maddie and we can hear is the very busy buzzing of a lot of talk, and we can see slips of paper being passed around…
Angle…as Maddie slowly approaches…she’s curious…
Maddie: Good morning, everybody.
The crowd turns around, and instantly all conversation stops.
On Maddie…feeling as if she’s intruded on something she wasn’t supposed to, and then…Resume, as David’s head pops up from the employees’ midst.
David (to Maddie): Aloha, aloha…
Angle, as David leaves the group to join Maddie…
Maddie (regarding the gathering): What’s going on?
David: What do you mean?
Maddie: I mean did I just feel a door slam against my nose?
David: Oh, that. It’s nothing. (And then) Well, I thought I’d surprise you. Just because you weren’t here’s no reason for me not to get the ball rolling this a.m. (Regarding the group) I’m outlining jobs for the week—making things hop.
Maddie (raising her eyebrows): Really…
David (sheepish): You know I hate patting myself on the back…makes me burp.
Maddie: Well, I shouldn’t stand to close then.
And as she turns and starts moving for her office, David doesn’t quite let her go.
David: Just wondering, what could possibly make Miss Punctuality sixty minutes late getting to the office…
Maddie (some consternation): What?!...
David: I mean, I figured, must be something going on…some drama…something…maybe someone…so I can’t help thinking, who would he be?
Maddie: Who would who be?
David: That’s what I’m asking.
Maddie (eyes him for a moment, and then): David, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d like to get to work now, if you don’t mind.
David (smiles): Great idea, chief.
[Maddie goes to her office and we see the bit with the flowers. The part where she throws them away is much the same as you see it on film. Her discussion with Agnes is a little different. Agnes walks over to take a gander at the trash bin.]
Dipesto (gushing): Flowers! (Sniffing them; and then) They’re beautiful, Miss Hayes!
Maddie (unimpressed): Well, they’re a lot, I’ll say that. I feel like the Rose Parade got a flat in my office.
[Agnes says her lines about buying pens.]
Dipesto (nodding and grinning): How romantic!
Maddie: Pens?
Dipesto: The flowers. (Feeling them) They’re so…flowery. (And then, grinning at Maddie) I’ll bet they’re from some handsome count with a yacht and an eye patch and he has dogs that lick babies but tear strangers to pieces.
Maddie (a moment, and then): Hardly, Agnes. (With a small sigh) I’m afraid the guy who sent me these isn’t a count, he’s—well—a dork.
Dipesto: Dork of what?
[Pause as they both let the words sink in.]
Dipesto: Oh…Oh…You’re not engaged, then.
[Maddie moves to her desk and puts down her briefcase, and turns back to Dipesto.]
Maddie: Can’t say that I am.
Dipesto: So this guy—what’s his name—he doesn’t own a yacht?
Maddie: No. Jim…the flower king…is a lawyer.
Dipesto: A lawyer. Gee, wonder what he’ll send you after your next date?
Maddie: There won’t be one, if I’m sane and sober next time he calls.
Dipesto: I’m sorry. I mean, the flowers are so extravagant. After a date, when a man sends flowers like these…
Maddie (interrupting): Flowers are easy, Agnes.
Dipesto (enthusiasm gone): I suppose so. (And then, with a shrug) Well…
[Agnes asks how old Jim is. The answer: Thirty-seven. Agnes walks out, shuts the door and she must spill the beans at this point--next thing, from the main room we can hear cheers. Cut to the scene of David reading the answers to the bets on what the date was like. The setting is still outside in the central room. Eventually Ms. Hayes interrupts.]
Maddie: Would you come into my office…now?
David: Your bark is my command. [They walk into her office.]
Maddie: Is what you’re doing out there what I think you’re doing out there?
David: If what you’re asking me is what I think you’re asking me…yes.
[Conversation proceeds to Maddie’s line about, “Since when does my personal life…” until:]
Maddie: No, wait…I know how this is going to go…you keep digging, probing, trying to get the dirt, I get madder and madder as I try to keep it from you, we exchange insults, make a scene, then I kick you out of my office…and somehow you manage to find out anyway. So let’s skip all that and get to what you really want to know. Then I’ll kick you out.
David: Fair ‘nuff.
[Proceed through Maddie’s statement about dates ‘never taking time enough’ and her outline of all the desultory bad nights out. Toward the end, David cuts in.]
Maddie: Because I’m beginning to think that person no longer exists.
David: Yes, he does.
Another angle, as Maddie realizes what he means…and then…
Maddie (incredulous): You? (And then) David, you weren’t listening.
[David makes his ‘elbow grease’ speech. It is the same except for this segment at the end, which would have made the tone of the episode far too obvious, and taken away from the ‘friendly dare/pretend this isn’t really what it is’ atmosphere.]
David: …Leaving Maddie Hayes in the extremely uncomfortable, not to mention extremely inescapable position of being… (Dramatic emphasis)…Out With David.
Maddie: Number one, I’m not scared, and number two, while being anywhere with David can be extremely uncomfortable, it’s never inescapable.
David: Meaning?
Maddie: Meaning the break’s over. Everybody back in the pool. [She points to the door.]
David (turns to camera): I love it when they play hard to get. (To Maddie:) C’mon, Maddie, give it a chance. What’ve you got to lose?
[Skip Maddie’s retort about ‘my patience and my self-respect.’]
Maddie: David, I can count the things you care enough to spend that much effort for on the index finger of my left hand.
David: Maddie, it runs a little deeper than that. (And then, sincerely) There are plenty of things I care about. Enough to plan for, organize and work at. I can be whatever I need to be, whatever I want to be… (aimed right at her) …if it’s important.
Maddie just looks at him, warily, but swayed a bit by his sincerity, and then…
David: Go ahead, try me. What kind of night are we talking about?
[Proceed with the descriptions of plans for the two types of nights on the town. These are just about the way you see them on screen. David’s ending line is different, though. Just before he walks out, he says:]
David: On one condition: at the end of my night, you only come up for coffee if I’m in the mood… [David heads back toward his office. On the way, he asks Agnes to do him a favor.]
David (whispering): Miss Dipesto, think you could rustle me up a tux?
Dipesto (confused): Yes, Mr. Addison…
And he continues into his office, closing his door, and after a moment…
Maddie’s door opens, and Maddie sticks her head out.
Maddie (whispering): Miss Dipesto, would you call and make a hair appointment for me this afternoon?
Dipesto (still confused): Yes, Ms. Hayes…
Maddie goes back into her office, and then Dipesto lights up, finally understanding. She looks at David’s door, then back at Maddie’s door, putting it together, and then…
Dipesto (to herself, excited): All right!
David, leaning on his door, a self-satisfied smile…
David: All right…
Maddie, sinking into her chair, worried…
Maddie: Oh boy…
[Switch to David driving around trying to get hold of some tickets. It’s the same. This leads eventually to the scene of him showing up at her door. It is as you saw on film, until:]
Maddie: Did you say limo?
David: Figured you’d never fit on my handle bars in an evening gown. (David gives her a smug smile.) Better hurry. Stroke of midnight I turn back into a frog. [Cut to them in the limo. It’s as usual, until her response to his offer of a drink:]
Maddie: Champagne?
David: Or we share a can of beans, then hop into the tub… (And then, realizing) Right. I’ll save that for my night.
;D
[Stage directions for the next part of the scene may have been changed because, number one, they take up quite a bit of time, and we know how much they had to edit on this show; and second, it makes flatly obvious the nature and strength of the feelings that were kicking around just under the surface here. Even now, in Year 3, they were not supposed to really admit to the true state of things just yet. In any event, the way we see the finished shots on screen, it seems quite a bit shorter than the written version.]
They clink (glasses)…then both of them, in unison, lower their glasses from their lips…then sit there in silence for a long few moments, a bit of nervous tension in the air…this is a little beyond where they’ve been before…until, finally…
David: So, are we having ‘fine’ yet?
Maddie: I didn’t think it was possible, but...(looks at him)…Yes.
David wasn’t expecting that. He smiles, a bit self-conscious, then turns and looks out the window, and Maddie turns as well, and looks out her window…staring silently for another long few moments, and…
Another angle, as Maddie finally sneaks a look at David, and David looks back at her, but Maddie turns quickly away, avoiding his look…and David finally looks away as well…and the two of them sit there in silence for another moment, shifting uncomfortably in their seats… and then, in unison, each takes another drink of champagne…and again, in unison, lower the glasses from their lips…more awkward silence…until, finally, they turn toward each other…
[Cue the discussion about where they’re going tonight. Almost everything is the same until they are about to take their seats at the orchestra, and this happens:]
Maddie: Now this is what an evening out should be like.
David: Good thing it starts soon. Doesn’t look like anybody brought a frisbee.
[The night falls apart. After they storm out of the hall, Maddie runs to the limo. David’s goodbye lines are a bit different.]
David: I’m assuming this means I can’t spend the night?
The door slams in his face. The limo screeches away.
David: Just an innocent question.
Stage directions are as indicated (some underlined). My comments will be [like this]. Some material may be slightly altered for clarity. (I'll post in two sections so it's a little bit easier to read.)
Please note: the Russian boxer’s name is spelled, variously, Gabinov and Kabonov in this script. That’s right; they keep changing it for some reason. It’s even shown on screen on the arena marquee as “Illya Gabinov”! I went with ‘Gabinov’ here, just for the sake of consistency. In the actual on-screen credits at the end of the show, I believe he’s listed as Ilya Kabonov. Go figure...
In the first scene at Blue Moon, when Maddie walks into the foyer, David greets her right away, not after the hullabaloo in his own office.
Angle—a desk…the one closest to David’s office, and it’s surrounded by the office staff…and all Maddie and we can hear is the very busy buzzing of a lot of talk, and we can see slips of paper being passed around…
Angle…as Maddie slowly approaches…she’s curious…
Maddie: Good morning, everybody.
The crowd turns around, and instantly all conversation stops.
On Maddie…feeling as if she’s intruded on something she wasn’t supposed to, and then…Resume, as David’s head pops up from the employees’ midst.
David (to Maddie): Aloha, aloha…
Angle, as David leaves the group to join Maddie…
Maddie (regarding the gathering): What’s going on?
David: What do you mean?
Maddie: I mean did I just feel a door slam against my nose?
David: Oh, that. It’s nothing. (And then) Well, I thought I’d surprise you. Just because you weren’t here’s no reason for me not to get the ball rolling this a.m. (Regarding the group) I’m outlining jobs for the week—making things hop.
Maddie (raising her eyebrows): Really…
David (sheepish): You know I hate patting myself on the back…makes me burp.
Maddie: Well, I shouldn’t stand to close then.
And as she turns and starts moving for her office, David doesn’t quite let her go.
David: Just wondering, what could possibly make Miss Punctuality sixty minutes late getting to the office…
Maddie (some consternation): What?!...
David: I mean, I figured, must be something going on…some drama…something…maybe someone…so I can’t help thinking, who would he be?
Maddie: Who would who be?
David: That’s what I’m asking.
Maddie (eyes him for a moment, and then): David, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d like to get to work now, if you don’t mind.
David (smiles): Great idea, chief.
[Maddie goes to her office and we see the bit with the flowers. The part where she throws them away is much the same as you see it on film. Her discussion with Agnes is a little different. Agnes walks over to take a gander at the trash bin.]
Dipesto (gushing): Flowers! (Sniffing them; and then) They’re beautiful, Miss Hayes!
Maddie (unimpressed): Well, they’re a lot, I’ll say that. I feel like the Rose Parade got a flat in my office.
[Agnes says her lines about buying pens.]
Dipesto (nodding and grinning): How romantic!
Maddie: Pens?
Dipesto: The flowers. (Feeling them) They’re so…flowery. (And then, grinning at Maddie) I’ll bet they’re from some handsome count with a yacht and an eye patch and he has dogs that lick babies but tear strangers to pieces.
Maddie (a moment, and then): Hardly, Agnes. (With a small sigh) I’m afraid the guy who sent me these isn’t a count, he’s—well—a dork.
Dipesto: Dork of what?
[Pause as they both let the words sink in.]
Dipesto: Oh…Oh…You’re not engaged, then.
[Maddie moves to her desk and puts down her briefcase, and turns back to Dipesto.]
Maddie: Can’t say that I am.
Dipesto: So this guy—what’s his name—he doesn’t own a yacht?
Maddie: No. Jim…the flower king…is a lawyer.
Dipesto: A lawyer. Gee, wonder what he’ll send you after your next date?
Maddie: There won’t be one, if I’m sane and sober next time he calls.
Dipesto: I’m sorry. I mean, the flowers are so extravagant. After a date, when a man sends flowers like these…
Maddie (interrupting): Flowers are easy, Agnes.
Dipesto (enthusiasm gone): I suppose so. (And then, with a shrug) Well…
[Agnes asks how old Jim is. The answer: Thirty-seven. Agnes walks out, shuts the door and she must spill the beans at this point--next thing, from the main room we can hear cheers. Cut to the scene of David reading the answers to the bets on what the date was like. The setting is still outside in the central room. Eventually Ms. Hayes interrupts.]
Maddie: Would you come into my office…now?
David: Your bark is my command. [They walk into her office.]
Maddie: Is what you’re doing out there what I think you’re doing out there?
David: If what you’re asking me is what I think you’re asking me…yes.
[Conversation proceeds to Maddie’s line about, “Since when does my personal life…” until:]
Maddie: No, wait…I know how this is going to go…you keep digging, probing, trying to get the dirt, I get madder and madder as I try to keep it from you, we exchange insults, make a scene, then I kick you out of my office…and somehow you manage to find out anyway. So let’s skip all that and get to what you really want to know. Then I’ll kick you out.
David: Fair ‘nuff.
[Proceed through Maddie’s statement about dates ‘never taking time enough’ and her outline of all the desultory bad nights out. Toward the end, David cuts in.]
Maddie: Because I’m beginning to think that person no longer exists.
David: Yes, he does.
Another angle, as Maddie realizes what he means…and then…
Maddie (incredulous): You? (And then) David, you weren’t listening.
[David makes his ‘elbow grease’ speech. It is the same except for this segment at the end, which would have made the tone of the episode far too obvious, and taken away from the ‘friendly dare/pretend this isn’t really what it is’ atmosphere.]
David: …Leaving Maddie Hayes in the extremely uncomfortable, not to mention extremely inescapable position of being… (Dramatic emphasis)…Out With David.
Maddie: Number one, I’m not scared, and number two, while being anywhere with David can be extremely uncomfortable, it’s never inescapable.
David: Meaning?
Maddie: Meaning the break’s over. Everybody back in the pool. [She points to the door.]
David (turns to camera): I love it when they play hard to get. (To Maddie:) C’mon, Maddie, give it a chance. What’ve you got to lose?
[Skip Maddie’s retort about ‘my patience and my self-respect.’]
Maddie: David, I can count the things you care enough to spend that much effort for on the index finger of my left hand.
David: Maddie, it runs a little deeper than that. (And then, sincerely) There are plenty of things I care about. Enough to plan for, organize and work at. I can be whatever I need to be, whatever I want to be… (aimed right at her) …if it’s important.
Maddie just looks at him, warily, but swayed a bit by his sincerity, and then…
David: Go ahead, try me. What kind of night are we talking about?
[Proceed with the descriptions of plans for the two types of nights on the town. These are just about the way you see them on screen. David’s ending line is different, though. Just before he walks out, he says:]
David: On one condition: at the end of my night, you only come up for coffee if I’m in the mood… [David heads back toward his office. On the way, he asks Agnes to do him a favor.]
David (whispering): Miss Dipesto, think you could rustle me up a tux?
Dipesto (confused): Yes, Mr. Addison…
And he continues into his office, closing his door, and after a moment…
Maddie’s door opens, and Maddie sticks her head out.
Maddie (whispering): Miss Dipesto, would you call and make a hair appointment for me this afternoon?
Dipesto (still confused): Yes, Ms. Hayes…
Maddie goes back into her office, and then Dipesto lights up, finally understanding. She looks at David’s door, then back at Maddie’s door, putting it together, and then…
Dipesto (to herself, excited): All right!
David, leaning on his door, a self-satisfied smile…
David: All right…
Maddie, sinking into her chair, worried…
Maddie: Oh boy…
[Switch to David driving around trying to get hold of some tickets. It’s the same. This leads eventually to the scene of him showing up at her door. It is as you saw on film, until:]
Maddie: Did you say limo?
David: Figured you’d never fit on my handle bars in an evening gown. (David gives her a smug smile.) Better hurry. Stroke of midnight I turn back into a frog. [Cut to them in the limo. It’s as usual, until her response to his offer of a drink:]
Maddie: Champagne?
David: Or we share a can of beans, then hop into the tub… (And then, realizing) Right. I’ll save that for my night.
;D
[Stage directions for the next part of the scene may have been changed because, number one, they take up quite a bit of time, and we know how much they had to edit on this show; and second, it makes flatly obvious the nature and strength of the feelings that were kicking around just under the surface here. Even now, in Year 3, they were not supposed to really admit to the true state of things just yet. In any event, the way we see the finished shots on screen, it seems quite a bit shorter than the written version.]
They clink (glasses)…then both of them, in unison, lower their glasses from their lips…then sit there in silence for a long few moments, a bit of nervous tension in the air…this is a little beyond where they’ve been before…until, finally…
David: So, are we having ‘fine’ yet?
Maddie: I didn’t think it was possible, but...(looks at him)…Yes.
David wasn’t expecting that. He smiles, a bit self-conscious, then turns and looks out the window, and Maddie turns as well, and looks out her window…staring silently for another long few moments, and…
Another angle, as Maddie finally sneaks a look at David, and David looks back at her, but Maddie turns quickly away, avoiding his look…and David finally looks away as well…and the two of them sit there in silence for another moment, shifting uncomfortably in their seats… and then, in unison, each takes another drink of champagne…and again, in unison, lower the glasses from their lips…more awkward silence…until, finally, they turn toward each other…
[Cue the discussion about where they’re going tonight. Almost everything is the same until they are about to take their seats at the orchestra, and this happens:]
Maddie: Now this is what an evening out should be like.
David: Good thing it starts soon. Doesn’t look like anybody brought a frisbee.
[The night falls apart. After they storm out of the hall, Maddie runs to the limo. David’s goodbye lines are a bit different.]
David: I’m assuming this means I can’t spend the night?
The door slams in his face. The limo screeches away.
David: Just an innocent question.
Gabinov swings at David, misses, and hits the referee; swings again and clobbers David, who falls to the floor. The referee gets up and is about to finish the count, when Maddie sneaks her hand up to the bell and rings it to end the round early.]