Post by bluemoongirl on Jan 2, 2006 15:47:07 GMT -5
By special request of Sakura Star, I have once again taken on the endeavor of transcribing another episode, "To Heiress Human". Enjoy ;D
To Heiress Human
Opening Montage of the sun rising, birds singing, animals in the forest, flowers opening….Maddie and David are asleep in bed. Maddie wakes up first, and tries to get out David’s embrace without waking him…
David: “You asleep?”
Maddie: “No.” (We know immediately that she regrets last night.)
David: “Me Neither. Obviously.
Maddie: “Sleep ok?”
David: “I wouldn’t really call it sleep. More like a toe-straightening break.” – curling up to her again.
Maddie: “You sound like you enjoyed yourself last night.”
David: “Umm…I seem to recall you hitting high-c yourself a couple times.”
Maddie: “How’re we gonna do this, David?”
David: “Do what?”
Maddie: “How’re we gonna do this? You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”
David: “You take a cab home, and wait for me to call.”
Maddie: “Can’t do that.”
David: “I got an idea. We do what John and Yoko did. Everything from bed. We meet clients here, solve cases….what do ya think?”
Maddie: “I think I’d like you to turn that way.”
David: “What for?”
Maddie: “I want to take a shower.”
David: “You don’t want me to look at you? You got nothing to be shy about.”
Maddie: “Guess I’ll have to fend for myself.”
David: “Hey! Ho! Hey!” –Maddie gets out of bed taking the sheet with her almost exposing David.
Maddie: “Sorry.” – goes into the bathroom.
David: “Yo! I put some coffee on?”
Maddie: “I don’t have time. I have to run right out.”
David: “Any chance of you dropping me by my place?”
Maddie: “Your place?! Can’t you take a cab?”
David: “A cab? Forget about it. I’ll just call my pimp. He’ll pick me up on the corner.”
Maddie: “I didn’t mean it that way, David. I just remembered I have an appointment. If I take you home, I’ll be late.”
David: “Yeah. Well, forget about it. No problem.”
Maddie: “Good morning, Ms. Dipesto.”
Agnes: “Morning, Ms. Hayes….Ms. Hayes!”
Maddie: “Yes.”
Agnes: (delighted) “Hmm.”
Maddie: “What is it, Ms. Dipesto?”
Agnes: “I don’t know what it is. But you look great today.”
Maddie: “No I don’t. I’ll be in my office.”
Agnes: “Yes, Ms. Hayes. Sorry ‘bout the…(door slams)…compliment.”
(Enter David –singing with much enthusiasm)
David: “Woke up this morning, my head was so bad. It was the worst hangover that I ever did have. What’s up boys! It was no wine I had me too much of. It was a bangs desk double shot of my baby’s love. Yeah, Yeah…” –bangs away on the reception desk like a keyboard.
Maddie: (off camera) “David.” (he doesn’t hear her) David!”
David: (singing) “Yeah, yeah…” (sees her)
Maddie: “Could I have a minute of your time, please.”
David: “Take two they’re small.” (follows her into the office singing)
Maddie: “What were you doing out there just now?”
David: “Sounds like a just got to work.”
Maddie: “You were singing.”
David: “So.”
Maddie: “So, how’s it supposed to look to those people when you come in here singing.”
David: “Same way it looks every other day when I come in here singing.”
Maddie: “But it’s not every other day. It’s the day after last night.”
David: “They don’t know that.”
Maddie: “And I want to keep it that way. It’s going to be hard to do that if you don’t stop acting so damn happy.”
David: “So damn happy! I’m not acting all that damn happy. I’m just....acting happy. Aren’t you happy?”
Maddie: “Of course I’m happy.”
David: “Are you sure.”
Maddie: “I said I was happy, David. I am happy. Don’t tell me I’m not happy when I’m happy.”
David: “Well, great. You’re happy. I’m happy. We’re all slap-happy. So what’s the problem?”
Maddie: “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not all that happy. It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’m not happy. I don’t know how I feel.”
David: “Take it from me, you feel great.”
Maddie: “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
David: “Don’t do what?”
Maddie: “Don’t say things like that in the office.”
David: “But I always say things like that in the office. It’s what I do. Look, I agree. Maybe we should wait awhile before we spring it on the employees.”
Maddie: “We’re not springing anything on the employees.”
David: “You’re right. If they knew, they’d think we’d be rocking the desk every time we’re alone in here. Does the lock on your door work?”
Maddie: “Stop it!”
David: “Stop what?”
Maddie: “Stop talking like that. Stop thinking like that. I hate this, David. I hate feeling uncomfortable. And wondering what the employees might be thinking. And cringing every time you make a suggestive remark.”
David: “So don’t do it.”
Maddie: “Thank you. As usual the depth of your sensitivity is staggering.”
David: “C’mon Maddie. Look, I know you feel a little weird. I feel a little weird myself. But it’s a good weird. So what if it takes a little time, we’ll work it out.”
Maddie: “I don’t want to work it out.”
David: “What do you mean?”
Maddie: “I mean, I don’t want to work it all out. I want to forget it.”
David: “What!”
Maddie: “David, last night was a mistake. I don’t know what happened. I got all caught up in the moment. And everything happened before I had time to think about it.”
David: “Ok. Ok. I’ll buy that. You lost your head. Not responsible for your actions. I’ll buy that. The first time, but that doesn’t explain the second time?”
Maddie: “Well, the second time I couldn’t think straight because I was still shocked from the first time.”
David: “Really? Well, what about the third time?”
Maddie: “Third time? What third time?”
David: “Yeah, come to think of it, you were pretty quiet. I figured you were just worried about waking the neighbors.”
Maddie: “David, stop this. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this. I can’t work like this. I can’t. (sighs) Let’s make a pact.”
David: “A what?”
Maddie: “A pact that last night never happened.”
David: “What for?”
Maddie: “Because it was never should have happened. It wasn’t meant to happen. It makes everything wrong.”
David: “Wait a second….we had a great time….”
Maddie: “David, the two of us are the only two people who know what happened. If we agree it didn’t happen, then it didn’t happen.”
David: “But it did!”
Maddie: But we’ll make a pact that it didn’t!”
David: “No! It did. And I liked that it did. And I gotta hot news flash for you, babe. So did you.”
Maddie: “Yes, I did. Did, David. Past tense. But not any more. Not now. Now I feel terrible. That’s why we have to make this pact.”
David: “Pact, schmact. It happened. We did it. It’s done. Well done I might add, over and over again. I don’t wanna make no pact.”
Maddie: “Of course, that’s all that matters. What you want. David, do you remember what you said to me last night?”
David: “Yes, I remember what I said last night. I meant it.”
Maddie: “Well, if you really meant it, you’ll make this pact.”
(Agnes knocks at the door)
To Heiress Human
Opening Montage of the sun rising, birds singing, animals in the forest, flowers opening….Maddie and David are asleep in bed. Maddie wakes up first, and tries to get out David’s embrace without waking him…
David: “You asleep?”
Maddie: “No.” (We know immediately that she regrets last night.)
David: “Me Neither. Obviously.
Maddie: “Sleep ok?”
David: “I wouldn’t really call it sleep. More like a toe-straightening break.” – curling up to her again.
Maddie: “You sound like you enjoyed yourself last night.”
David: “Umm…I seem to recall you hitting high-c yourself a couple times.”
Maddie: “How’re we gonna do this, David?”
David: “Do what?”
Maddie: “How’re we gonna do this? You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”
David: “You take a cab home, and wait for me to call.”
Maddie: “Can’t do that.”
David: “I got an idea. We do what John and Yoko did. Everything from bed. We meet clients here, solve cases….what do ya think?”
Maddie: “I think I’d like you to turn that way.”
David: “What for?”
Maddie: “I want to take a shower.”
David: “You don’t want me to look at you? You got nothing to be shy about.”
Maddie: “Guess I’ll have to fend for myself.”
David: “Hey! Ho! Hey!” –Maddie gets out of bed taking the sheet with her almost exposing David.
Maddie: “Sorry.” – goes into the bathroom.
David: “Yo! I put some coffee on?”
Maddie: “I don’t have time. I have to run right out.”
David: “Any chance of you dropping me by my place?”
Maddie: “Your place?! Can’t you take a cab?”
David: “A cab? Forget about it. I’ll just call my pimp. He’ll pick me up on the corner.”
Maddie: “I didn’t mean it that way, David. I just remembered I have an appointment. If I take you home, I’ll be late.”
David: “Yeah. Well, forget about it. No problem.”
Maddie: “Good morning, Ms. Dipesto.”
Agnes: “Morning, Ms. Hayes….Ms. Hayes!”
Maddie: “Yes.”
Agnes: (delighted) “Hmm.”
Maddie: “What is it, Ms. Dipesto?”
Agnes: “I don’t know what it is. But you look great today.”
Maddie: “No I don’t. I’ll be in my office.”
Agnes: “Yes, Ms. Hayes. Sorry ‘bout the…(door slams)…compliment.”
(Enter David –singing with much enthusiasm)
David: “Woke up this morning, my head was so bad. It was the worst hangover that I ever did have. What’s up boys! It was no wine I had me too much of. It was a bangs desk double shot of my baby’s love. Yeah, Yeah…” –bangs away on the reception desk like a keyboard.
Maddie: (off camera) “David.” (he doesn’t hear her) David!”
David: (singing) “Yeah, yeah…” (sees her)
Maddie: “Could I have a minute of your time, please.”
David: “Take two they’re small.” (follows her into the office singing)
Maddie: “What were you doing out there just now?”
David: “Sounds like a just got to work.”
Maddie: “You were singing.”
David: “So.”
Maddie: “So, how’s it supposed to look to those people when you come in here singing.”
David: “Same way it looks every other day when I come in here singing.”
Maddie: “But it’s not every other day. It’s the day after last night.”
David: “They don’t know that.”
Maddie: “And I want to keep it that way. It’s going to be hard to do that if you don’t stop acting so damn happy.”
David: “So damn happy! I’m not acting all that damn happy. I’m just....acting happy. Aren’t you happy?”
Maddie: “Of course I’m happy.”
David: “Are you sure.”
Maddie: “I said I was happy, David. I am happy. Don’t tell me I’m not happy when I’m happy.”
David: “Well, great. You’re happy. I’m happy. We’re all slap-happy. So what’s the problem?”
Maddie: “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not all that happy. It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’m not happy. I don’t know how I feel.”
David: “Take it from me, you feel great.”
Maddie: “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
David: “Don’t do what?”
Maddie: “Don’t say things like that in the office.”
David: “But I always say things like that in the office. It’s what I do. Look, I agree. Maybe we should wait awhile before we spring it on the employees.”
Maddie: “We’re not springing anything on the employees.”
David: “You’re right. If they knew, they’d think we’d be rocking the desk every time we’re alone in here. Does the lock on your door work?”
Maddie: “Stop it!”
David: “Stop what?”
Maddie: “Stop talking like that. Stop thinking like that. I hate this, David. I hate feeling uncomfortable. And wondering what the employees might be thinking. And cringing every time you make a suggestive remark.”
David: “So don’t do it.”
Maddie: “Thank you. As usual the depth of your sensitivity is staggering.”
David: “C’mon Maddie. Look, I know you feel a little weird. I feel a little weird myself. But it’s a good weird. So what if it takes a little time, we’ll work it out.”
Maddie: “I don’t want to work it out.”
David: “What do you mean?”
Maddie: “I mean, I don’t want to work it all out. I want to forget it.”
David: “What!”
Maddie: “David, last night was a mistake. I don’t know what happened. I got all caught up in the moment. And everything happened before I had time to think about it.”
David: “Ok. Ok. I’ll buy that. You lost your head. Not responsible for your actions. I’ll buy that. The first time, but that doesn’t explain the second time?”
Maddie: “Well, the second time I couldn’t think straight because I was still shocked from the first time.”
David: “Really? Well, what about the third time?”
Maddie: “Third time? What third time?”
David: “Yeah, come to think of it, you were pretty quiet. I figured you were just worried about waking the neighbors.”
Maddie: “David, stop this. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this. I can’t work like this. I can’t. (sighs) Let’s make a pact.”
David: “A what?”
Maddie: “A pact that last night never happened.”
David: “What for?”
Maddie: “Because it was never should have happened. It wasn’t meant to happen. It makes everything wrong.”
David: “Wait a second….we had a great time….”
Maddie: “David, the two of us are the only two people who know what happened. If we agree it didn’t happen, then it didn’t happen.”
David: “But it did!”
Maddie: But we’ll make a pact that it didn’t!”
David: “No! It did. And I liked that it did. And I gotta hot news flash for you, babe. So did you.”
Maddie: “Yes, I did. Did, David. Past tense. But not any more. Not now. Now I feel terrible. That’s why we have to make this pact.”
David: “Pact, schmact. It happened. We did it. It’s done. Well done I might add, over and over again. I don’t wanna make no pact.”
Maddie: “Of course, that’s all that matters. What you want. David, do you remember what you said to me last night?”
David: “Yes, I remember what I said last night. I meant it.”
Maddie: “Well, if you really meant it, you’ll make this pact.”
(Agnes knocks at the door)